Hampton East Newsagency is For Sale

David Backholer this is for you

Until this morning I had a job delivering newspapers at the Hampton East Newsagency. Seven mornings a week in all weather I would be throwing The Age and The Sun, the Financial Review and The Australian out the right hand window of my Hyundai Elantra.
You can imagine where this would put a kink in someones lifestyle. I was out of bed at 4 a.m six mornings of the week and 3 a.m on Saturdays in order to both deliver the A2 section of The Age and actually finish at a reasonable time.
About six months ago my now most decidedly ex-boss started getting quite stupid. He was getting really picky over my missing a paper or two a day....out of about 250 papers, that were often delivered in an hour & ten minutes...see the percentage. His wife even admitted that she knew there was a very good chance that the papers were getting stolen. I was studying Indonesian at Open University at the time and with assignments, a six month old son and periodic kidney stones you can see where a man might just be preoccupied.
At any rate as last year became this year the nitpicking increased and by this time I'm studying at Monash Uni, only two subjects, but it's twice the workload of last year and due to severe changes in my diet due to the kidney stones I had become severely anaemic. So here I am feeling like shit, just dead tired the entire time with a son who is now teething and thus killing off any hope of a full nights sleep and this wanker is both giving me these little love notes and responding with "It's not my problem" and "I don't care" every time I mention why some fucking cow who usually isn't out of bed much before 10 a.m didn't get her paper. 
The clincher came about a month or so ago with a love letter that read,  I quote" Russell you've missed ten papers in ten days. Not good enough!" I thought FUCK YOU!!! I had only delivered about 2500 papers in that time and as a percentage it was about the size of this guys dick...yep vanishingly small. So I explored my options in regards to Austudy, and found that if I studied three subjects or more a semester that I would :
a) be financially better off because I wouldn't be using my car as much. I live about 5 km from Monash Uni's Clayton Campus and often walk to & from Uni. So you can see the health benefits immediately...I could end up walking about 50 km a week next semester and that won't hurt me at all.
b) I'll get my mornings back. I used to get up at 5 a.m to meditate and have a calm, rational start to my day. Now I can still get up at this time to meditate, but I can also study before my beloved son wakes. Another positive to my life. I can hear the hail on my bedroom window and rather than drag my arse off to work for some cunt who doesn't appreciate his employees, I can now just snuggle with my wife..
and
c) I don't have to look at some pale, pudgy, grump who only thinks of himself.

So on Tuesday I give three weeks notice...as demanded in the wank of a contract he put me & the other delivery drivers on last year. And David Backholer gives me three days..."You can finish up on Saturday. I don't want anyone here who isn't interested in the job".  You might be able to understand that my care factor dropped a bit. Well actually it dropped a shit load. And this morning I show up and get
"Russell yesterday you delivered....".
I interrupt with
"David you are almost talking to the wrong person".
"Don't you care about the job?"
"No, I gave you three weeks notice and you gave me three days".
I also think "this guy is incredibly fucking stupid. He effectively sacks me and then expects me to give a fuck about this business he's been trying to sell since September of last year."
He then decides that I should finish up then. I express my opinion of people who whinge and bitch about their workload and still manage to turn down three weeks notice that I intended to do the nice thing and help him through his wife Susans absence whilst visiting family in the US.
His problem now  is that I have loaded about 30 Ages into my car. I "delivered" the papers as I drove down Bluff Rd.
His other problem is that anyone who searches for either him or the newsagency on the Internet will now know what his wife couldn't help but tell me...she likes bitching as well...and that is The Business isn't worth buying!.  I know, I worked there for almost three years and the takings have been down every month for the last three years. Susan Backholer likes to talk and talked plenty about the state of the business and how she wanted to retire. If it hasn't sold after nine months, the business is a lemon people.
So now my fucking genius of an exboss has two newspaper rounds to do and a shop to take care of whilst his fat fucking heafer of a wife is over visiting her fertility challenged progeny in the Land of The Obese and Bad Attitudes.
Do I care about this guy?
I'll leave you to figure that one out.
Well this is my rant. I do feel better now.